Tag Archives: Comedy
Does my dog hate me? Part II
What is up, peeps. Yes, I am back at it again with the blog! “Oh no,” you say? Well sorry, you got to deal with it now! Ha!
The last blog I did leave y’all with a “cliffhanger.” Does my dog hate me? Straight to the point answer, most likely. Why you ask? Well, the wife and I have two dogs, Mika (a rat terrier) and Milo (classic chihuahua). Mika hates me out of jealousy, that’s just my dumb opinion.
Milo, on the other hand, love me, that’s not an opinion, that’s a fact! Since we adopted Milo a little after Mika, they have got their roles down as “brother and sister” pretty nicely. Although, the devil himself Milo, loves to irritate and show off that he gets to chill on my lap, while Mika’s heifer ass is on the floor next to my leg. Looking at me in disgust. I am sure y’all who have multiple pets and for sure know where I am coming from.
Now the big question of the day is, does one of your pets hate you? I am sure one does. Just watch your back as you sleep. I know I do, just kidding, not really, I’m serious!
Now a quick change of subject. I bet you are thinking, “What, this blog is out of wack and does not follow what Jimmy just wrote!” Yup! you’re right, deal with it! I walk in and out of grammar errors with run-on sentences and unnecessary words so you’ll probably lose your mind if those are your pet peeves. LOL, you think that’s bad you should hear me talk. Anyways, Derek from The Billy Madison Show is coming out with a sports gambling and more podcast, starting September 6th, 2018, called “Dirty Derek’s Degenerate Podcast.” So be sure to mark that calendar and be sure to follow Derek on Twitter or The Billy Madison Show Facebook for more information as the day gets closer. You for sure don’t want to miss it!
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@BMS_Jimmy
Does my dog hate me?
Sooooo, what’s up? So I am here at home working on the computer and my dog, Mika, sits there in front of me, and just stares at me. Like looking into my soul staring at me. I thought to myself, “Did I forget to feed her?” An unlikely scenario, she would never let that happen. Then I start thinking, does my dog hate me?
A little backstory on Mika. The wife and I adopted her when she was around 2 months old. We were looking for our first “fur baby.” My wife was just about to walk out the door when I called to her to check out two pups. So we saw these cute pups. They were sisters, one was playful and jumping around, the other was there dead asleep. I was like, “That one, she’s a chill dog, let’s adopt her cause the other one looks like a pain already.” This “chill pup” was Mika. The explicit word played us. She played us good!
Now fast forward a couple of days and I’m like, ” OMG did we get the wrong dog?!” She’s a great dog but dayum did she love socks like all dogs do right?
Like all socks I had in the past with puppies, they were snacks. Mika is a hilarious dog though and very smart, surprisingly. The wife loves her to death. We get used to Mika’s habits and she is starting to get the hang of being an apartment dog. Sometimes I could have sworn Mika thought her name was, “No,” but she got it down really quick with her name and potty training. The wife had so much fun dressing her up, ha!
I got a kick out of it too while I was learning the ways of Photoshop.
Mika is what my wife calls, “chicle,” which is gum in Spanish. Wherever the wife and I was, Mika was there. Mika was more chicle with me though LOL.
Mika is something else ha! Even till this day, she seems to strike me as her almost being human. There were definitely some times where I thought I was going to go crazy with this dog, the wife too, but Mika is Mika, and she’s just part of the fam.
That stare though she gave me earlier made me feel like I was being judged for my sins or something, damn dog. That’s when I thought to myself does Mika hate me? Then I realized something! It’s quite possible Mika does have some jealousy towards others, or other. This “other” was lying asleep on my lap. We will talk about this other “devil” next time. 😉
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@BMS_Jimmy
Everyone is going “Friday the 13th” on Nard!
It’s April, Friday the 13th, 2018, and Nard is playing “Friday the 13th” the video game on PS4! What makes this stream so special other than Nard fat shaming his teammates? The comments are giving Nard hell right now!
I can’t understand how the hell he did it, or how this is happening, but Siri or whatever is reading Nard the comments that are watching him play live! Derek bruh! Your vengeance is happening right now as Nard is being bombarded with insults such as, “shout out Josh,” “Nard you suck,” “Nard you’re fat,” etc, etc, etc. It’s a must-see live! In fact, follow the Billy Madison Show Twitch stream right now and comment insults on the chat and hear your comment talk to Nard in a sweet robotic voice, hahaha! View the stream right now by clicking below!
***UPDATE – If you miss the 4/13/18 live stream, be sure to replay the broadcast. The twitch link is at the very end of the blog***
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@BMS_Jimmy
After the Holidays
Nothing like waking up to the whole city of San Antonio, TX, with BBQ smell in the air today. Smells delicious! Most of the country celebrated Easter today, or on April 1st, depending on when you read this, and it was the day I stuffed my face with delicious BBQ and sweets! Really sounds like just another day for me, HA! Not really. My goodness though! My stomach is bloated, gurgling, giggling, you named it! I am going to explode!
I do not know what possessed me to write about what I am about to say? It seems the holidays comes with it’s “demons.” This demon is called “constipation!” LOL, oh yeah, you know what I am talking about! Don’t act like you just drank a cup of water and called it a day. You stuffed your face too right? It’s not just the men, you women are just as guilty! I bet everyone regretted every single food they put into their stomach’s today, and more! Well, regretting might be a little too much cause the food was awesome right? It sucks though when your laying in bed and you’re thinking how much water you have to drink to get the food “back out” again because your cramping like you’re about to give birth! 😉
Hahahahahaha! Hey, we are all adults here right? We all know that feeling when we eat so much crap that our body can’t handle it all. It’s either not enough fiber, too much-carbonated drinks, eating too fast, and the obvious, eating too much when it comes to the holidays. Do we learn from our eating mistakes, so we won’t suffer next time? Hell no we don’t! The next holiday, at least for me, is going to be another foodfest of junk food combinations too!
OOOOOOH MAN! My stomach is hurtin’ LOL. I bet you’re are wondering, “So what’s the meaning of this blog right now?” Nothing really, I am just being a crybaby cause I have a tummy ache, HA! I hope everyone had a great holiday today. I will leave you with something to think about, and that is, did I write this whole blog while I was sitting on the toilet? HAHAHA! 😉
*Be sure to give the Billy Madison Show blog a FOLLOW and leave a LiKE or COMMENT if you can! That would be greatly appreciated!*
@BMS_Jimmy
Has Video Games Turned Nard Mad? The Finale?! *Blog Update*
Wow, did not expect this to turn into a blog series of Nard, but it fits so well, HA! Apologies for the “short blog” again, but the Billy Madison Show is LIVE on Fortnite, and yes, Billy is streaming online with Derek and Nard! You can check them out by clicking HERE now, or by clicking the link at the bottom of this blog.
So why does Billy have a significant effect on the “loveable puppy” we know as “Nard Dog?” Nard does not take orders from anyone online right, or offline for that matter. He sure can bully Derek around just fine, so Billy should be nothing to the Nard, right? Well, honestly you are going to have to see for yourself right now.
If you ever listen to The Billy Madison Show, I am assuming you have, if not, you can click HERE to listen to their past shows on the show’s podcast page, after you watch the stream, obviously; you will learn quickly that Billy not just the host of the show, but he is “Top Dog.” Then you have Derek, the co-host, and the enforcer, and Nard is just, Nard. The Nard Dog is non-existent. Although there have been “much” occasions where Nard has gone, well…Nard lol. You have to listen to the show to understand the dynamics, super hilarious program!
Sooooo…..is Nard going to do his thing and be a full-on badass and continue his savagery of telling everyone that they suck and he does not. Or is Billy going to tame Nard into a lovable house cat? You are just going to have to find out for yourself. Again just click the link below ASAP to find out!!!
SUBSCRIBE and FOLLOW! That would be very much appreciated!
“The Billy Madison show is a nationally syndicated radio show that sucks at playing video games!”
*Blog Update (@ 7:55pm, 3/29/2018)*
***If you miss the 3/29/18 live stream, be sure to replay the broadcast. Link to video below**
Sooooo, Billy proved to be “Top Dog” and Derek confronted Nard about Nard’s actions on their previous stream on 3/27/19. Nothing but silence and complete awkwardness from Nard. You got to see it to believe it!
Billy Madison Show – Twitch – Fortnite – 3/29/2018
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@BMS_Jimmy
No Nard, Derek is Guaranteeing a Victory!
What is up?! Got another quick blog here. Derek is live on Fornite with no Nard Dog! Derek is guaranteeing a victory!
How sweet it is to have Derek, “Nardless,” and not fat-shamed by Nard. You got this Derek! Check him out live by clicking here, or just click the link below! SUBSCRIBE and FOLLOW! Get em’ Derek!!!
https://www.twitch.tv/billymadisonshow
“The Billy Madison show is a nationally syndicated radio show that sucks at playing video games!”
*Be sure to give the Billy Madison Show blog a FOLLOW and leave a LiKE or COMMENT if you can! That would be greatly appreciated!*
@BMS_Jimmy
Has Video Games Turn Nard Mad? Part 2!
OK, so this is going to be a short blog cause the savagery of Nard Dog is happening LIVE!!!
Click here now to watch Nard boss Derek around! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE and FOLLOW! That would be awesome!
Derek, you don’t suck! Down Nard Dog! “You’re such a naughty boy!”
*Blog Update (@10:45pm, 3/27/2018)*
So, assuming you all have seen the latest Twitch video of Nard going ham on Derek for no reason, what is your take on the one who calls himself, “The Glue?” Funny? Or just plain wrong? Or, does someone need a timeout?
“The Billy Madison show is a nationally syndicated radio show that sucks at playing video games!”
***If you miss the 3/27/18 live stream, be sure to replay the broadcast. Link to video below***
Billy Madison Show – Fortnite – Twitch 3/27/2018
*Be sure to give the Billy Madison Show blog a FOLLOW and leave a LiKE or COMMENT if you can! That would be greatly appreciated!*
@BMS_Jimmy
Has Video Games Turn Nard Mad?
If you have been living under a rock, the news is The Nard has gotten himself a PS4 and is now online. If you have not watched Nard play Fortnite on BMS Twitch, you should definitely start watching!
Although, there is something changing with The Chosen One since his video game debut. The man has gotten aggressive! Nard Dog has gone Nard Dog! Yelling at Derek and calling the shots! When it comes to gaming, Nard is BOSS. The funny thing is, he has brought the BOSS aggression to the Billy Madison Show. If you don’t believe me, just listen to the past shows here.
Now, in my opinion, I really did not believe a video game can change a man. But Nard is no human. I really want to see Nard play GTA V! My goodness, that would be gold! To see Nard go ham in an open simulated city! Nard would never sleep. Damn, now I want to get a PS4 myself just to mess with the Nard and get that aggression going, HA!
You don’t have to have a gaming system to watch Nard, Derek, and even Billy, play video games on Twitch. Wow, Billy is on Twitch too! That’s a different story as well lol. As Derek put it, they, “are a nationally syndicated radio show that sucks at playing video games!” If you don’t want to miss a Twitch stream from the guys, be sure to follow Billy, Derek, and Nard, on their social media, turn on notifications as well and follow and like the official Billy Madison Show Facebook page. You don’t want to miss a thing!
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@BMS_Jimmy
Never put on a Screen Protector while on Adderall!
Note to the reader…
Sooooo, like all my other blogs, they are my own opinion. This one, in particular, is very much my own opinion, obviously, and would not want to offend anyone who is about to read this blog post. I understand people go through situations such as what you are about to read, but for me, my way of dealing with things I wish I can control is dealt with comedy and laughter. So relax, and enjoy the blog.
Now to the Blog.
Now that I got that over with, I got a new screen protector delivered today and was very excited to put it on the new device that’s going to make things a whole lot “awesome” for me in the world of digital imagery. So, I carefully open up the package and oh boy! It came with 2 screen protectors! What a steal right? WRONG!!! Little side note, when it comes to following instructions, I follow them, no joke. I try to go above and beyond for the tiniest things LOL. So when I got this screen protector, in matte, oh yea, it was going to be what I thought was a piece of cake. HA!
Before the fun begins. You, (you as in the reader), are going to find out somethings about me I don’t usually publicly say, I suffer from ADHD – predominantly inattentive, among other things buuuuut that’s for another blog lol. Anywho, so yea, this inattentive ADHD was an undiagnosed form that I had since childhood and blah blah blah blah blah now I take Adderall to “slow down,” relax, my mind. So when I started following the instructions on how to apply this screen protector no sweat right?
The Adderall has already been in my system and I’m ready to go. So I get the instructions and OMG, WTF! I am super focused and OCD has just kicked in and started whooping my ass! I was so trying to be precise with the placement of the screen protector, not to mention I was going ham on every single speck of dust that was falling gracefully on the surface of the screen! Damn you dust!!! Did you know dust is human skin? Gross! Damn you human skin!!! No wonder why these packages included 2 screen protectors, cause people like me were sure to screw one up and screw one up I did!
Now it was time to put on the screen protector 2. I was like ok, I looked up some YouTube videos, didn’t find anything useful on Nard’s YouTube Channel, but I was determined. Finally, no joke, after 3 f@#king hours, I got that sh#t on there!!! OMG what in the world?! 3 HOURS?!!! But that goes back to the beginning of the blog, Adderall is one hell of a drug! GEEEZ!
So that was my Saturday right there. But it was all worth it, HA!
***Note to the reader: I DO have a prescription for Adderall, FYI. This blog was NOT intended to make fun of people who suffer from ADHD, and other illnesses. I was just making fun of my dumbass for taking 3 hours to put on a damn screen protector. DO NOT take Adderall or any other medications without a prescription and without seeking proper help!***
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@BMS_Jimmy
The Billy Madison Show 