NFL Divisonal Weekend Breakdown

The Falcons suck and Matt Ryan is a clown. I’m honestly just mad because I bet a shit ton of money on The Falcons early last week. I got in when the line was a easy -2.5 – I didn’t stop there though, Oh no, I bet The Falcons in every quarter and I also bet them to win the first half. Yep, that’s right, I somehow lost 6 bets on one game and when I have to meet my bookie Monday afternoon I might actually vomit. What a shit show the Falcons were. To make it worse they had a chance to win it at the end and they end up calling some stupid ass roll-out play that is like 0/10 all time. I now hate The Falcons.

How funny was it when the Titans scored first and people actually thought they might win the game. Including my beloved Tony Romo, What a dummy. I was asleep by the 3rd quarter so I missed The Patriots rolling to their 7th straight AFC Championship game.  Unbelievable. Last time The Cowboys played in a Conference Championship game was 1995. LOL.

The first game on Sunday was a slobber knocker with Jacksonville forcing a couple of early turnovers including a 50 yard scoop and score after a sack on Big Ben. Leonard Fournette was running all over Pittsburgh (Again) but the momentum of the game swung after Leonard had to come out after an apparent ankle Injury. Big Ben threw a bomb on 4th and 11 to score a TD and make it 28-14 at the end of the half. The second half was even better but you gotta give the Jags offense some credit. They put up 38 points (Defense scored a TD). They were also fortunate that Mike Tomlin decided to go for an onside kick when they were only down by a TD with about 4 minutes left.Jags kicked a field goal which proved to be the difference in the game with the Jags winning 45-42 advancing to the AFC Title game.

Holy shit, Saved the best for the last. Vikings and Saints was an absolute bore fest during the first half. In fact this game was so bad I started following the game on my NFL app and hopped on Call of Duty. Drew Brees of course went off in the second half, Bringing the Saints all the way back and even taking the lead late in the game 24-23. I thought I was gonna win my stupid $25  bet that paid $226 if the Jags and Saints both won. Weekend Saved!!!! Or was it…..

To lose a bet like that should be a criminal offense. Thank you New Orleans. Thank you for nothing.

vikings

All in all it was a terrible weekend for me gambling but aside from that 3 of the 4 games were pretty damn good. Looking forward to winning it back next weekend.

Jags saints bet

@BMS_Derek

20 year old smoking hot Nurse, Bungee Jumps in a converted grain silo, Ends with her death. Millennials and Recycling are clearly at fault.

Always a sad day when really attractive people die young. This 20 year old decided she was gonna try out a Bungee jumping place in town that had been converted from an old Grain Silo. Not Good. Grain silo 1.jpg

 Ciara Romero, a 20-year-old nurse, died while using a 70-foot bungee-jump feature at Get Air at the Silo Trampoline Park, an indoor recreation park in Grand Junction.

The device was tested after the accident by the Department of Labor and Employment, which worked with Head Rush, the makers the bungee, and confirmed it is now looking at other factors in the case, according to the Daily Sentinel.

Grain Silo 2

Gotta blame millennials and there obsession with recycling for this death. I guarantee this bungee jumping company was started by some millennial who was like “Hey man, We should like totally convert this grain silo into a place where people can bungee jump, man. Like save the earth, man.”

You can read the full story here.  Also I found this hilariously stupid video on youtube that talks about the incident but also reads off the entire code of the dailymail article. haha. Stupid computers.

Grain silo 3

@BMS_Derek

I called it: Nard has ridiculous conspiracy about the Hawaii missile crisis

I knew it – I knew it- I knew it. First thing I see when I woke up this morning after losing my ass on Falcons last night and then getting drunk and playing Call of Duty until like 2am, Nard’s stupid Hawaii conspiracy video. I can’t even really articulate one thing he said in the video except for at one point he started breaking down how many minutes were in an hour, Enjoy.

I will give Nard credit for his video thumbnail image. That shit is pretty legit. Can’t even deny it. He’s got the whole X-files mixed with Illuminati thing going on, That’s pretty dope.

Nard conspiracies

@BMS_Derek

Youtube idea of the week: Reviewing Reviews

After sitting through and recording in the audio for that piece of trash called Nards review of Breaking bad check it out if you have no other options and a few minutes to waste, I thought to myself why not flip the game on its side and review the reviews of others because there is nothing that can make you feel more like an American than critiquing the toy review of some 5 year old that still thinks Santa is real and babies come from the baby store.

nard breaking bad

Because after all being a dick is the American way. #freedom

trex

@BMS_Felix

Nard dresses like a Safari Show host and hunts Felix

I thought since I shit on Nard like 24/7 I should give him a shout-out for a funny video he did. Maybe this video isn’t even funny, Maybe I’m just 3 bowls (weed reference) in on a Saturday afternoon and I’m looking to mix in posts about stupid news while also trying to find a way to put our own show over in a natural seamless way. Who knows but I hope you enjoy the Nard as Much as I do.

 

@BMS_Derek

Entire State of Hawaii gets trolled by disgruntled employee or did they?

I don’t know. I’m not sure I buy the Governor of Hawaii’s lame excuse that someone hit the wrong button during a shift change. Like do they just have pre-drafted emergency messages sitting in their drafts? I guess that is possible now that I think about it but I’m not changing the headline.

But what if there actually was a missile that was headed for Hawaii and this is all a big cover up? Can’t wait to hear what Nard has to say about this on Monday. He’s a big loose change guy.

@BMS_Derek

 

Update: I personally fixed Jen Selter’s relationship with her father

Quick update from my last post. Apparently in just my 3rd day blogging, I managed to trigger one of Instagram’s Top Models. You can click here to read that post.

Jen selter Update 3

Obviously the headline is what upset her but when you really break down the headline, I’m simply just saying “Jen Selter is so hot that it must suck ass to be her dad and have every guy to ever live think about his daughter naked” that’s it. To me it’s clearly a joke and I didn’t even @ her so it’s not creepy but either way I think it’s fantastic she’s decided to clean up this post and reconcile with her father.

Jen Selter 4

The road to reconciling with her father came after searching her name ( not her mentions, Just searching her name) on Twitter like the humble hot girl she is, She discovered my blog. After scrolling through my pics to see how hot I was she decided to shame my creative humorous headline. Then she must of realized that I had been blogging for about 3 days, That I was a nobody therefor she decided to delete the tweet, I hate her for that, In the 5 minutes that tweet was active that blog post had about 9,000 different visitors. Crazy the amount of power she has.

Jen selter Update

But maybe I am a somebody because after a quick look at her Instagram you might notice a completely different caption on the photo that I pointed out. Went from “Sorry Dad” to a Pizza emoji. Crazy to think about the amount of power I know possess as an elite blogger. I won’t forget about you guys and thanks for the support.

@BMS_Derek

I went to Jen Selter’s Instagram for the first time today and I hope her Dad is dead

I was cruising the TL earlier and saw this story about New York Knicks star Kristaps Porzingis hooking up with Instagram model Jen Selter(Click here to see that story). Now I have to admit that I have heard the name Jen Selter before but I thought that she was on ESPN or something. I had no idea that she was one of the best looking girls on the internet.

I have spent the past 2 hours looking at her Instagram and I may have discovered one of the rudest most aggressive Instagram post of all time.  The caption on the post is “Sorry Dad” 😦

Jen Selter 4

She pretty much cucked her dad in front of her 11.4 million followers. Harsh. Hope for his sake he’s already passed away.

Jen selter 1Jen Selter 2Jen SelterJen Selter 3

@BMS_Derek

Megyn Kelly Encourages Fat Shaming – Twitter responds “Her face looks like what cat piss smells like”

Megyn Kelly is incredibly talented at pissing the entire internet off. Her latest one comes after interviewing some fitness mom Maria Kang. During the interview she told a story about how her stepdad would fat shame her which is a weird move on the stepdad’s part. Regardless I couldn’t help but search her mentions on Twitter to see what the people were saying.

First one out the gate, Coming in hot.

Megyn Kelly 1

Classic Dad burn by a Doctor that I’m almost positive isn’t actually a Doctor

Megyn kelly 2

Damn Kim, Why you gotta be such a savage?!?!?!

Megyn Kelly 3

Suzie (Who is verified) was so pissed off about this that she decided to throw her dad and her rapist under the same bus.

Megyn Kelly 4Megyn Kelly 5

Somehow this ass-hat decided to take a shot at my beloved Oprah. Not Cool and obviously he’s a racist. Allegedly.

Megyn Kelly 6

Check out this guy scrolling through random old tweets of Megyn’s and fat shaming her.  Keep your eye out for Mike Hunt CEO in the future. Man is dedicated.

Megyn Kelly 7

And last but not least, The only tweet I could find defending Megyn Kelly and I’m positive it’s from a fake account.

Megyn Kelly 8

@BMS_Derek

Lady Gaga shows off cleavage and new upcoming summer trend?

I clicked on this link that was talking about my girl LGG and her cleavage spilling out of some pink suit, Of course I only clicked on the link because I wanted to slut shame the websites editor for using such bullshit tactics to get clicks. I quickly got sidetracked after noticing LGG’s face. I thought to myself – Damn she looks dumb – but then I hit the bong and thought – Maybe it’s fashion?-  I hate that I seriously can’t tell if her glasses are being worn like this on purpose or not. Can anyone clear this up for me? Thanks.
Lady Gaga

lady gaga 2

 

@BMS_Derek