Breaking News: Kevin Smith Almost Died

I’m breaking this story at 3am central standard time and according to my sources (Kevin Smith’s Twitter) I can confirm that Kevin Smith had a massive heart attack at a comedy show he was performing at. Had 100% blockage in one artery but luckily made it to the hospital in time and from what my sources are saying, He is in stable condition. Luckily for you guys, My 50mg adderall is in full effect cause I have to be one of the only people talking about this story right now because no one else in the world is awake. Feels good to break news. Feels damn good.


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